Is your work environment causing your imposter syndrome?

The other day, my friend calls me up and tells me that she's experiencing imposter syndrome at work. So naturally, we dig deep together to understand what exactly is going on and she told me something interesting.

She said that her manager becomes frustrated and belittles her when she asks questions as if she should already know the answers that she seeks.

She describes him as condescending, and rude - notably when he said to her "no offence but why are you here" when she was in a meeting. On the whole, their communication has been a major issue.

The experience was causing her to question whether she's smart enough, and has led to her not asking questions or for help from her colleagues because it makes her feel more like a fraud.

Something that I am extremely conscious of, is the fact that imposter syndrome puts the blame on the individual.

This isn't necessarily a case where my friend is failing to internalise her own successes, she's actually in an environment where she is made to feel bad when seeking knowledge from her manager.

From reading, Stop telling women they have imposter syndrome, this particular quote stood out to me:

"Imposter syndrome directs our view toward fixing women at work instead of fixing the places where women work."

Now, I do try to keep things balanced here, I am not saying that it is *entirely* the work environment that is causing my friend to feel the way she does. These things are not black and white.

I didn't feel comfortable giving her advice like about developing a growth mindset when her manager is directly communicating to her in a way that makes her question her intelligence.

It's all well and good for her to take a step back, and write down her wins. However, I can guarantee that the feeling of empowerment from her wins will fade as soon as the manager belittles her again.

In these cases, the "best" methods are tricky.

Guess which type of imposter syndrome we will be covering today, it’s the one and only… soloist.

This type finds it incredibly challenging to ask for help as they believe that if they get help, their successes are not their own which plays into not being able to internalise them.

From these kind of experiences, people like my friend associates asking questions with experiencing a negative outcome/feeling, and reinforces that they aren't good enough.

Here are 4 pieces of advice, with three points being for the individual and one for the manager:

It's time for that honest conversation

To the person experiencing this, firstly, I'm sorry if this has happened to you/ is happening. It is challenging to deal with people who make you feel bad for seeking help, especially if you're new to the company or early on in your career.

If you're up for it, it's time to have that challenging conversation with the person that's doing this and explain that when they have said x, it has made you feel y and act like z.

I'm not saying this conversation is an easy one to have, but it is necessary. The person doing this to you may not even be aware that they're doing it and how it's impacting you and potentially your work.

Asking questions is key for your growth

Secondly, asking questions is key to understanding and for growth. If you're avoiding negative feelings associated with the response of asking questions, utilise other people around you too.

I'm not saying that you need to quit your role (straight away)

Looking at other teams or companies can be a great option for you if you want to move and work with different people, this is perfectly valid. If this is an option you're looking at, I'd recommend looking at your internal job boards, reaching out to hiring managers, and networking.

While you're looking for a move, you still need to navigate and survive in this environment. It isn't easy dealing with these kind of managers/colleagues and you'll come across these kind of people at various phases of your life and careers.

For the managers: creating a psychologically safe working environment

Managers creating an environment where employees feel safe to fail, contributes to innovation, retention of staff and more productive employees. I've written a blog post on the importance of psychological safety here

Being condescending towards members of your team doesn't create a psychologically safe environment, which is a key component to get the best from your colleagues

You can read "Why psychological safety at work matters and how to create it" by Dr. Jacinta Jiménez, PsyD